Random Thoughts

I am ridiculously looking forward to the Ganesh Chaturdi. Been a long time since I looked forward to something and it comes as a refreshing wave to have something to look forward to. He is trusted to stop the obstacles in their way at his very thought and since I want to start on a fresh chapter in my life, (no wedding bells, yet, before someone would ask!!!, just the general belief coincidentally: When you fall flat and have no where to go, look above and help will be there), I think, tomorrow would be the best day to start it. Wish me luck people!!! Today has been one of those days, where I started off pretty well and all of a sudden went down for some unknown reason. I went to office, (no, my manager is not killing me, YET, but probably WILL, sometime in the future ) and had no mood to work, tried doing it for about three hours before I gave up knowing that, what would take an hour, would take a day, with the mood I was in, so went out. Books are probably the only things that conne...

I have been listening to this song since morning and I cannot get around the part of Lonely I'm Mr Lonely, I have nobody, For my owwnnn I'm so lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely I have nobody, For my owwnnn I'm so lonely,.. I don’t know who sung this part in the song, but the bit is simply catchy. Rest of the song is good too… but then, what exactly is that voice or what is that sort of singing called? :) Lonely I'm Mr Lonely, I have nobody, For my owwnnn I'm so lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely I have nobody, For my owwnnn I'm so lonely, Yo, this one here, goes out to all my playas out there ya kno got that one good girl whose always been there like ya Kno took all the bullshit then one day she cant take it no more and decides to leave I woke up in the middle of the night and I noticed my girl wasn't by my side, coulda sworn I was dreamin, for her, I was Feenin, so I hadda take a little ride, back tracking ova these few years, tryna figure out wat I do to make it go bad, ...

Love aaj kal – kind of gave me mixed feelings. Leaving out the direction, the songs and even the story, the theme was good enough for me. Few of the dialogues in the movie were simply superb and the contrast in the love of the previous generation and this generation was aptly portrayed, but, the conclusion that love shall remain was a bit of an off to the theme perhaps. If the movie is talking about two people practical enough to make wise decisions, it also shows that those practical decisions are not worth it, for at the end of the day, once their ambitions or the practicalities are stripped bare, then, eventually the loneliness creeps in and causes a mess that none would be too happy to deal with. The movie is about two people who fall in love with each other in London. The typical “today’s” love that starts with coffee and ends with a “good bye – can’t commit” sort. Meera (Deepika Padukone) and Jai (Saif Ali Khan) walk into this relation, which would be called dating. They walk aro...

Hmmm. Thank you for all the warm souls who cared enough to give me a call and find out what the heck is wrong with me and this post is exclusively for them. Like a cool breeze that gives in a spurt of free air in the midst of a hot summer, the beauty sleep in its regal self visited me last night and I slept for a damn straight 12 hours. I slept at 9:10 and woke up at 8:45 today morning with absolutely no thought to spare in my mind and I am glad that I got this sleep. I never knew I missed it :). So, the first thing I am doing is post this, to share my happiness. And my mind better be in form today, else I shall sue it for non-cooperation!!! Have a bright day ahead….

A few years ago, Some Day: “Daddy!!! I want to be a star!” “Why?” “Stars twinkle, stars are bright and stars make me smile.” “OK.” Another Day: “Dad! I will be a teacher!” “Why?” “I don’t have to do homework.” “OK” Some Another day: “Dad! I will be a pilot.” (SIGH – inaudibly) “Why?” “Because I can fly!!” Smiles, “OK”. As days passed, these conversations of ‘I will be’, became distant. I wonder if he still waits around to see me walking into the room, filled with conviction, saying, “Dad, I will..., because of so and so”. With coming up of age and the convictions becoming more pronounced, the “I will”, became, “I want” and the will to do something transformed to a want of nothing! I wonder if he still awaits this incessant change of heart of a young kid, his young kid. Does he know that his little girl still remains his little girl and will forever remain like that, no matter what I would be or where I would be? Does he wish that I remained a little kid who slept on his belly or cuddle...

I have a big problem. I can’t sleep. I just cannot. I am tired of sleeping, perhaps, but can any human be tired of sleep? I suppose not, which brings a most basic question, what am I, if not human! The last I slept fitfully was last Thursday and since then, I had four hours of sleep, including the weekend. Can anyone try and explain me the reason why I cannot sleep? I see the time and it is four, sometimes five and I literally force myself to close my eyes and sleep, else I would have a horrendous day at office, but no, my mind refuses to tire and my eyes refuse to relax. It is not like I am not tired, I am, but sleep just eludes me and if you ask, what the heck am I doing at that hour, unable to sleep, well, I try my best to sleep and if it isn’t working, I roam around the house for a few minutes and then stand in the balcony and then open a book. I cannot concentrate, so I leave it and plug in my ipod. I perhaps should have had all the songs by-hearted by now, but then, I am no singe...

DISCLAIMER: This is a fictional story. All the characters are fictional. The incident itself is a creation. Any resemblance to people or to the situations in the real world, is purely coincidental. ------------------------------------------------------- She sat on the window sill, holding a knife in her hands and looking out of the window. A tear glided down her eyes. He looked at her from the opposite house. He stared at her intently, his face contorted with anger. He wants to rip him to pieces with his bare hands, but he knew he would not commit himself to it, not while she cared enough to drop a tear for him, not while she cared enough to hurt herself beyond endurance loving him. One day she might outgrow that and that day, he would kill him, even if it would damn him to eternity. But until that day, he will have to sustain the pain her anguish brought to his heart, until that day, he will have to silently will her to live, for her survival is a prerequisite to his existence....

Dreams are the interpretations of one’s subconscious mind. What we keep thinking through and through, transforms into a dream and creates a dejavu experience. But, then, at the end of the day, the point is, they are the product of the thoughts in one’s mind. But, we cannot control these subconscious thoughts any more than we can control the flow of air! So, I wonder, would it be a futile attempt to control one’s life beyond a given day, for, if we cannot control a simple thought that originates in our mind, how can we control the time that is beyond anyone’s control? And how can we control life that seems to be proportional to time, in that it ages through time with little clarity as to what it would be tomorrow! And how can one aspire to control someone else’s emotions or feelings, when one cannot control their own thoughts? It is one of those days, where thoughts just rip through your mind and one of those days you end up feeling totally hideous… I cannot seem to stop thinking, thoug...

I am listening to the rhythm of the matrimony (holy matrimony). In the first place, why is it holy? Is it because, our culture believes that the match is made in heaven and hence it is called holy? I always wondered if marriages are made in heaven, why do they end unhappily or sustain unhappily. OK, marriage is nothing but the commitment two people promise each other, that they would stick together through thick and thin and if possible through to the death bed. I hope I am right. But then, can all the couples work out a relation? Our culture only speaks about getting the couple together, but what should happen incase they are unhappy being together, is not spoken out loud. And perhaps it is because there tends to be a belief that there exists only one person for each person, the thought that there might be a possibility of unhappiness in that relation did not occur to anyone to document or preach. We grow up looking at the couples who survive with unhappiness because they are tied to ...

Ha.. Magadheera is a film, basically driven by a love aged 400 years. I heard love defying age, but defying time, must be true love, if it ever exists! Man, the heroism in a man has a new definition as a person who does mindless stunts. The opening of the film is one of the worst openings of all. C’mon, the hero literally pushes the bike up at the height of 20 feet and then somersaults and lands on the vehicle from 25 feet and then lands the vehicle on the ground! Well, I am unsure if it can actually be done, but then, I know little of stunts on bike! But, well, it was an opening of a telugu film and I knew I was in for a good laugh from that moment. The hero can defy physics and law of gravitation too. And the heroine entry, wow, you GOT to give it to the director! The electricity literally sparks between the hero and the heroine and the very touch of her is sufficient to flutter his heart. What starts of as a jovial start went on to become hilarious when the flash back started. The p...

It’s one of those days where I have time to retrospect the happenings in my life. Surprisingly, it always goes back to one thing I always wanted, to be able to look at myself in the eye at the end of the day and feel satisfied. I work in a profession, where individual performance matters as much as a team’s performance. Though at the end of the day, it is the team’s competence that comes through as an end product, still, a lot of importance is given to individual accountability, perhaps because of the intricacies of the higher policies that I do not comprehend. Either ways, I always wondered, when it is team’s performance at the end of the day that delivers an end product, why should we gauge individual brilliance? I always pondered over Man of the match as to why it was given to a particular person, when it is the team’s effort that won the match. I cannot for one comprehend the individual glory or centre of attraction, may be because it least matters what someone thinks of me, as lon...