Newbie Swimming

Swimming! Just thinking of it makes me smile. It is so much fun. Despite the fact that it is lethal in one moment of slipped concentration or presence of mind, it is so much fun to float along in the water. My roommate has been extremely helpful in helping me trying to overcome the fear of water and embrace what is natural to the body. The first step was joining in the class and getting into the pool. I had my technique wrong for an hour and was bored easily, as I could do nothing that helped me stay afloat. But, I got into the pool of water. I got into it, period! And that to me has been a phenomenal achievement. The next day, despite the sore shoulder, I went into the pool, flapped my legs and started kicking. It took me most of the hour to get the technique to a decent shape, but I managed to kick once or twice with great gusto. It was a revolution. By the time I came out of the pool, I hardly had the strength to even hold a knife. I managed to glide along the day, with little gusto, but feeling the pride in me of taking another little step of conquering the fear of water. The next day, I gave it a rest. And the next day, I was determined to float in the water. It was fun. I took a breath, I held it, put my head in the water and just relaxed. My feet lifted, while I had the sensation of going down, I held on to the wall and continued to sink below, when all of a sudden, I started floating. As I experienced the feeling of floating, the analytical part kicked in and said, as long as you have air in your body, you will float. Just don’t breathe in and remember to hold the air in. That was a revelation. After trying to float for a few minutes in the water, holding my hand to the wall, I knew I enjoyed floating. I loved it. I did not kick, I did not move my hands, I just held in the breath and voila, I was parallel to the pool. I also noticed, that when I lifted my head over my shoulders, my feet started to go down and when I gulped in another quick breath and put my head under, I could float again. As I went past these simple steps, my confidence grew. My roommate was surprised too! And then, I tried to let go of the wall. That was still a big thing for me! I did. I can float without touching the wall, though since my breathing techniques are little shaky, I still need to stand for my breath. I could not get a stroke correct, my shoulders were tight with tension of letting go of the wall. When my roommate held my hand, I managed to stay afloat. But, despite the fact that I could not swim even for two strokes, I got out of the pool, feeling richer and filled with joy. I floated. Yay!!!

“There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don't.”

I know that my fear for water was and still is irrational, but I still cherished this little step forward to try and over come it.

I want to know

“It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithlessand therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.”
― Oriah Mountain Dreamer