My First Snow Fall

Mmm, with a trying day coming to an end and the weather being darn cold and an insufficient coat on my shoulders, I started walking down the road to my house along with another friend. And suddenly he exclaimed its snowing, I was thinking it was rain and suddenly, my black coat has a few specks of snow on it asserting the fact that it was snowing. Infact, as I am writing this and gazing out of the window, I can still see the snow fall and I am completely amazed and thrilled. After I reached home, the first thing I did is switch on the net and send across messages to all my friends saying I got wet in the snow. It was not half bad as it is now, but still, snow is snow. I made a few friends in a different place jealous about this experience too .

Hmm, backyard, fence, tiny tiny leaves, plants, trees, rooftops, footpath, road – all are covered with the snow and it does not look like it is about to abate anytime sooner and it looks like it is not in a hurry either. What is the big deal about snow anyways? Hmm, it is a biiiig deal to me! I have seen it only in the movies and to witness it in its spectre leaves me spellbound. With my heart willing to leap to a dream land, a hot cuppa of joe and lovely music, and a smile on my face, I am thoroughly enjoying this. It looks delightful and absolutely fantastic.

The soft and noiseless down pour of the snow, inviting and tempting… wish I have my friends here, I would have either dragged them out or played in the back yard, if only for a few minutes! Not that the temperature is something that I can withstand! I am not a person who feels cold to the extent where I would be shivering, but zero degrees is something I have never experienced and seeing it makes me want to go under a cosy blanket and not get up until the temperature is comfortable again! But the chill that runs down the spine, the chill in the intake of the cold breath, the sharp pain in the back of your head and the numbness of the hands and legs are well worth this, just to get that first snow into your body. Yes, I embraced it, with open arms, into me and I am glad I did it.

The only treasure that life can offer.

… Starting with thoughts that are running in my head as a stream gushing through mountains… in attempting the enormity of defining what this tiny mind feels, thoughts might have gone in frenzy, yet I am sure they will give a meaning that is whole.

Something about an emotion, though spoken a thousand times, seems to have been left unspoken. That emotion is love. It is a force that drives one out of this world. A passion, rare of its kind that it holds a certainty in life like nothing else can.

I cannot see you,
I cannot talk to you,
I cannot touch you,
Yet, I can see you,
I can talk with you,
I can touch you,
with as much emotion as I can gather in your presence. That is love.

The thought that I walk down the path that you once walked,
The thought that I can breathe the very air that you breathe, though miles apart,
The thought that I can look at this world, through your eyes and see its entirety as you spoke of it,
Can anyone take that away from me? The right to feel what I feel? The right to think what I think?

Do you feel what I feel? Do you realize that you feel what I feel? I wonder!

Barriers, obstacles, come what may, some tiny corner held for you, can withstand the tear and wear of time and life, for memories cling on and define life in a way nothing can. For memories, stay forever and memories complete you. Oh dear, what a beauty to have experienced this? Can anyone deny this fact? That love, in its beauty is something that cannot be challenged by the greatest treasures that life has to offer, since it is the only treasure that life can offer.

My Car Driving...

This is the gear rod and we have five gears to move forward and one gear for reverse. This is the steering wheel and this is clutch, brake, accelerator in that order. Now, first, you need to turn on the engine (not the car, but the engine, no wonder the lesson is hard to follow!), check the gear if it is in neutral, floor the clutch and hold the brake and turn the key clockwise. That is it! Now, shift the gear to the first, slowly release the clutch, slowly!!!! Ok, not a problem, start the engine again, neutral, shift, hold on, hold on.. ok… not a problem, lets do it one more time, and let me just tell you what to do first. You need to release the clutch slowly, when you can see the vehicle move a little, floor the accelerator, got it? A nod! Perfect. Lets do it. I took a deep breath and went into the routine again, clock wise, clutch, shift gear, accelerator. Damn it, move!!!!! Release slowly, damn it! Slow, S, L, O, W – slow, got it??? SLOW? OK.. No need to freak out, give me a break, else I will be a nervous wreck!
Ok, one more time and I ain’t doing it, I ain’t touching this damn vehicle again in my life! Hmpf! Its now, you or me, engine, You or ME… lets see…

Clock wise – wow – lovely humming
Floor the clutch, shift the gear…
Deep breath, here goes nothing, except my will to learn the vehicle…
Release and floor…. Yippeeee… moving.. moving.. it is not that hard see… oh god, a turn, what do I do, what do I do? Turn it right, turn it right, all the way, all the way, this is not power steering damn it, you need to twist your hands, move it, move it… Oh God!!! My hands! Thank god, mine is power steering!!! Ok… now, go… go and go… one more round.. and this time, lets try second gear, shall we??? Mmm, okie… what ever you say, you are the master. OK..

Pull off the road and switch off the engine and lets start all over again. Ok…

Lesson 1 – Round 2
Engine on, clutch, gear and accelerator…
Why is not moving damn it!!!
Second gear!!! First gear!! But then, you said we will try in second gear! Ha, you got to see his face to believe it! Damn it, girl, vehicle gears are a progression. First, first, second second, third third….
You want to increase the speed, you go up the gear, you want to decrease the speed, you lower the gear and press on brake, got it??? He forgot that I am a wiki for questions and that this particular order will come back to haunt him in his future lesson!!! Ok.. start it all over again and this time, focus! First gear, then second gear. Ok…
Engine on, clutch, gear, accelerator…
First gear and accelerator and second gear…. Stalled!!! You moved to the second gear too fast, you need to pick up speed before you go to the second gear. Ok.. how am I supposed to know that? Just too many rules, I will not be able to learn this vehicle in my life! …
One more time, first gear, floor the accelerator, see this, if this touches 10, then change the gear to second, clutch – gear – release – accelerator, got it? Yup, easy….
Engine, clutch, gear, accelerator… first gear.. moving!!!!! Touched, clutch, gear, release SLOWLY, accelerator… see…. Smoooooooooth, lovely.. brake, brake.. you need to press the brake hard damn it, what if you hit the person? Get going, you don’t want to stop in the middle of the road. No No, you need to start from the first, vehicle is at a halt, first gear, accelerator and then second… OKIE… deep breath, clutch, first gear, move it mister.. coooool, then second… wow…

Ok.. pull over, this is your lesson for the day, we will try out tomorrow, you did quite well!!!
Thank u…

Hmpf! That was my first car driving lesson. The end though was tragic, I fail to understand why he could not say that I was bad and that I was a night mare of a student? Why mocking me with a statement that I was good, when I was pathetic. SIGH! There came a series of lessons, where in I got into the nuances of the car. Somehow completed the training, but I cannot yet drive the car. How was it any different from school or college? Stipulated time, under paid staff, sometimes over paid, uninterested teacher and a flabbergasted and overwhelmed pupil. All in all, the end product is a dissatisfied student who SOMEHOW managed to get past this hurdle, thank god!!!

You fail to imbibe confidence in your student, however good a teacher you may be, you still are a failure. That is a fundamental point. Thank god, my parents believe in me, with the questions I have in my mind, if my parents had questions about my ability to succeed in my life, I would have been a nincompoop!!! But, the dream of driving a car might remain as a dream, for all I know.

I love the feel of the steering in my hands, I love the freedom of movement I get, when I am in my vehicle and I love to ride fast on the roads and allow the wind move past me… I love moving aimlessly, miles together and the thrill it brings along with it…. Will there ever be a car I can ever drive?? :D….

Last weekend...

Have been thinking about blogging for quite sometime. Having loads to write, but words falter. Want to write a series of experiences in life, but somehow words fail to form sentences and I end up using a phrase or two.

Last week end, went for a walk down the Picadilly Circus towards the Buckingham palace. This is autumn and trees are shedding their leaves. The paths are full with dead leaves and I was playing with them. I dragged my feet on the road across these leaves and thoroughly enjoyed getting my shoes dirty :D, but it was worth going back in the time and doing things that once were a part of my daily activity. Hitting a stone across the road while walking back home from school, jumping high in the air and trying to catch the lowest branch that hung in the air at a teasing distance, running along the walk with the school bag on shoulders and dragging the feet in the mud for some unknown reason and getting an earful after reaching home. Those were some days!

A walk in the St James park was also amazing. That was the most relaxed time I had in the recent past. Then the star bucks coffee did it for me, made my day worth while and the journey in a double decker bus to the picadilly arcade again was surprisingly good for a bus ride and gracefully short. I loved the place all in all. Then took a train to Leicester square and went to a casino, though I did not do anything, it was worth an experience. The ambience was worth more than anything.

I am collecting memories like a kid collecting seashells on a sea shore and I don’t know when they will come in handy, but I will gather all I can to lean on them when I need to. Life teaches a lot of things and one lesson is that a good memory is a very good friend.

Are these questions?

Pool… Hmpf! A cue and six pockets and a load of pass time. Was trying out my hand in pool yesterday and thank God, my parents did not think I need to become a pool player. I am ridiculously qualified for it. I knew I was not cut out for sports or for that matter any activities that involve a crowd, for me 2 is a crowd, I am glad I was proven right yet again. But then, like to chill out once in a while, books though offer me a solace like no friend can, a game can take your concentration else where.

But, I saw a person play pool, the likes of which I have long since forgotten and in fact he gave me a new dimension to look at in the game. Wonder why he was playing an amateur game instead of trying out his hand else where! Anyways, not my place to throw around words.

But somehow the game is captivating and I only want to play it more… Suddenly I realise how very far I came from enjoying life for what it is and how serious I have become in my life or rather, how I have let go of a lot of things that were dear to me. Be it running, be it singing, be it painting… I just gave everything up in a second and never turned back to any of those things and now when I want to turn back I cannot, because something pulls me back. It certainly is not the fear of losing, I have seen it all. It certainly cannot be embarrassment. I have had enough share of that too… but then, I should have been accustomed to it by now, anyways! Then what is it? Was I not enjoying the game last evening? Was I not raring to hit it and see if I still have that killer in me? Why is it that I am unable to feel free? Why is it that I am unable to break the barriers that I seem to have constructed round myself? Why is it that I feel locked inside myself? What is stopping me from just relaxing and enjoy the day, in its glory? Questions and questions. How many questions do I have in life? Are my uncertainties coming back to haunt me? When I was a kid, questions were a part of my growing up. Now, questions have become a synonym to me. Am I willing to let myself ponder a while longer in this maze?

The answer is surprisingly simple. I just do not enjoy doing a few things any more. But, why is something I have no answer for. May be it is this me who stopped taking her life for what it is and is running to make it something that she does not want to comprehend! Surprising how a few things in your life become clear as you sit with yourself and learn to understand the why’s.

A farewell to the man who made Indian cricket team to TEAM INDIA!

Honestly, I am too shocked for words! Wait, let me get my senses back. Dada is retiring after this Australian series. Man, I will miss him big time. Have been a little out of touch with cricket these days and when I came to know about it, I had to read the content from all the news papers I could gather and every single website that covers this news, to believe it.
The royal Bengal tiger, true to his virtue, has been a man of solidarity, influence and strength. A man, who people hate and love at the same time, a typical Bengali.

Sourav Ganguly, an awe inspiring persona, charismatic and regal, he will be a figure who shall be remembered in the Indian cricket as legendary. With his first tour that began as a threat to his career, he launched himself a career that is scintillating. Comebacks have been a part and parcel of his career, each remarkable than the one before. With a century in his debut test match in Lords, he sent the waves of promise and lived to it as his statistics prove. Though he has put us under a roller coaster ride of emotions with every success and failure of his, he still ebbed a writing that is deep and etched on stone, on every fan of cricket. The off drives that have been his trade mark or his sixes that were unbelievably classy, something to do with him being a left hander, he took a decision of giving up his bat and Indian cricket will now have one legend short…

What makes him different to Sachin or Rahul or for that matter any other Indian player who played along side him is that, he made this team gel as a cohesive unit. If there were flaws, they were his own, if there was strength, it was his strength that echoed in the footsteps of the youth that played in the team. A leader filled with determination and pride. He carried himself with aplomb on the field, paid back compliments how ever sour they may be, be it with a bear chested dance on the Lords pavilion or the wait for the toss for the Steve Waugh. If an Irphan could bowl a bouncer to Steve Waugh as a welcome to the crease, it is his confidence that gave Irphan the courage to do so. If Yuvi and Kaif could embrace after the Lords famous win in the Natwest series, it is his never-say-die attitude that marked the team India. If there is any captain in the history of Indian cricket that brought the Indian team as a team together, it is undoubtedly Sourav. If Bhaji could stick upto Sourav, it is the loyalty he inspired from the team by his actions. Criticized and loved the same, Sourav took the Indian cricket and shook it by the roots to shake the dust of rust and give a vigour to the team, before he planted it back in the soil to reap the benefits of being better performers over seas.

With a threat to Aussie dominance and a win in Pakistan and a miracle ride in the 2003 world cup, he is the proud man who shouldered the pride of every Indian on his sleeves. What do I remember most of him? Not his play, but his captaincy. The dynamism with which he took the field, the way the team looked upto him and the way even the far off fielders looked at him for instructions, he is a man who is a born leader. No one teaches you how to lead and if your team looks at you from every corner and gets the job done without a raised voice, that to me is leadership. He is a leader and a ferocious one who hunted the prey, making the hunt worthwhile to watch. Though this hunt has made him a predator, and himself a prey, with his withdrawl from the Aussie test match or with his hesitancy in opening the innings, the position that offered him rich dividends in the early part of his career.

Though the career has been shun with controversies and ridicule, the fact still remains that he is the leader who inspired his team to make a mark on the world cricket and not just suck it up but stand up and give it back. Give back what they deserve, be it a word or a slap or a hit! That is him.

Forgetting the sad statements that questioned his commitment to the game or the claimed injuries that forced him to rest, I wish I could see this series of his and I wish it would describe his career … Wishing you dada, all the very best and hoping that the you will retire on a winning note. None has made a difference to Indian Cricket as you have done and it will take another great player to replace you, who as of now is yet to be seen in the Indian Cricket.

Sourav Ganguly, the God of offside, a tribute and a heart felt good-bye…