Hmm… sometimes dreams are so real and sometimes dreams are so frightening. But, then, it is important to remember every dream, the good ones and the bad ones, for the good ones cheer us up and the bad ones serve as a reminder of what can happen.
The dreams long shattered, suddenly blossom, whispering that they never left me … that the hard part is over, but the recurring night mares speak other wise, waking me up with a jolt that the hard part is yet to come. But, how can one be worried, when an eternal hope springs back into life, willing to guide me forward, through the mayhem of life? How easy is it to get the perspectives right, when the thinking is straight? How easy is it to feel the reins of our life, when the confidence is back? How easy is it to smile, when we find a way to deal with the frown?
With a sparkle in the eye and a twinkle in the hand, I shoot up into the sky, to land on the moon… along the way I see the obstacles becoming pebbles and I roar in triumph… I see a shooting star and pray that the journey lasts long… and move forward, hoping that the spirit will never desert me…
This tingle in me is new… it reaches my eyes and into my heart…
This excitement in me is new… it reaches my belly, through my lips…
A shiver down my spine … runs through my body… into the land of ecstasy…
Take my hand and feel with me, for words fumble and I am at loss…
Jan 17, 2009
Jan 11, 2009
Happy New Year - Belated!!
Thought that coming back to my home after a short stint will make this place alien to me… may be it did and may be it did not… this is inbuilt in me, how can it be alien to me? This is my place and my home and nothing can change in me to the extent where I would feel aloof here…
Just as a re-union after a long gap would entitle people to form opinions, my presence again, invited opinions from all corners of my small world. Nothing changed much, parents or work place, but I changed. Few people say it is a good change and few say it is not that good. But not that I quite care about the opinions, except from a selected few, which have been varied to draw any necessary conclusions, so, took the views at face value and proceeded further to face the future that awaited with a grave determination. This New Year started off with an unexpected surprise.
Like a kid getting a Christmas candy, I took the gift with a rare smile and warmth in my heart, knowing very well what it would be. To know that there was an effort, rare of its kind gave me a satisfaction. More than the gift and more than the person who gave it to me, the fact that someone bothered so much as to invest some time to find a perfect gift for me, something that I would love, though knowing me, it is not that difficult to figure out what I want, gave me immense pleasure. Somehow, that single act, made me look at this year from a different dimension that may be there is a sense of promise awaiting me. Ha, how very me! To look at things from a personal perspective, to find some meaning in the trivial acts!! Gifts become special not because they are gifts or because of the person who gave it, but, because of the time it took to pick that up, but, because of the thought that went behind it. And to think, if it could be useful or if it could be of a value or if it would please the concerned person and being lost in the endless questions and sometimes in the endless possibilities and sometimes with a rare trepidation that may be, I am doing it all wrong and having the guts to chose something just because you want to show the person you value them in your life enough to care to invest some time, is well, a beautiful gesture. Sometimes, though the gifts are impersonal, that does not belittle the thought, for every minute in a day does count and the most valuable gift is time, that one could ever gift anyone, and gifting something expensive or inexpensive involves those few minutes that one would never get back, adding more value and meaning to the whole concept of ‘gift’.
Personal thoughts blissfully are less demanding and adjusting back to home and getting life back on track though slowly, occupied most of my time. Being picky with a lot of things, it is not very easy to be pleased with everything around me, but I am getting by, with minimal complaints ;), though Mom might not really agree. :D… Hmm, another new thing this year is that my mom actually read through my blog, which must have come as a surprise to her, because she never really thought that her daughter has any talent, (I don’t think that opinion changed much), but, having known me and the irritating demeanour I seem to radiate, she was well caught off guard seeing this side of me. She did not say much about it though, which either means she thought it is not worthy of an opinion, which would be devastating, or she was left speechless, which is quite heart-warming. But then, knowing her, I am quite sure some corner of her heart must have heaved a sigh of relief that I have not cut myself off from this world and that I still am sane to express myself ;). (She believes I have grown very quiet, as if that is possible!!!)
Anyway, looking forward to a tomorrow, with a new sense of purpose and hoping that this year shall give me a sense of fulfilment and satisfaction in life, in the true sense of the words and wishing myself a very Happy New Year …
Wishing one and all a very Happy New Year and hoping that the sun shall shine the brightest in all your lives and the lives of your loved ones…
Just as a re-union after a long gap would entitle people to form opinions, my presence again, invited opinions from all corners of my small world. Nothing changed much, parents or work place, but I changed. Few people say it is a good change and few say it is not that good. But not that I quite care about the opinions, except from a selected few, which have been varied to draw any necessary conclusions, so, took the views at face value and proceeded further to face the future that awaited with a grave determination. This New Year started off with an unexpected surprise.
Like a kid getting a Christmas candy, I took the gift with a rare smile and warmth in my heart, knowing very well what it would be. To know that there was an effort, rare of its kind gave me a satisfaction. More than the gift and more than the person who gave it to me, the fact that someone bothered so much as to invest some time to find a perfect gift for me, something that I would love, though knowing me, it is not that difficult to figure out what I want, gave me immense pleasure. Somehow, that single act, made me look at this year from a different dimension that may be there is a sense of promise awaiting me. Ha, how very me! To look at things from a personal perspective, to find some meaning in the trivial acts!! Gifts become special not because they are gifts or because of the person who gave it, but, because of the time it took to pick that up, but, because of the thought that went behind it. And to think, if it could be useful or if it could be of a value or if it would please the concerned person and being lost in the endless questions and sometimes in the endless possibilities and sometimes with a rare trepidation that may be, I am doing it all wrong and having the guts to chose something just because you want to show the person you value them in your life enough to care to invest some time, is well, a beautiful gesture. Sometimes, though the gifts are impersonal, that does not belittle the thought, for every minute in a day does count and the most valuable gift is time, that one could ever gift anyone, and gifting something expensive or inexpensive involves those few minutes that one would never get back, adding more value and meaning to the whole concept of ‘gift’.
Personal thoughts blissfully are less demanding and adjusting back to home and getting life back on track though slowly, occupied most of my time. Being picky with a lot of things, it is not very easy to be pleased with everything around me, but I am getting by, with minimal complaints ;), though Mom might not really agree. :D… Hmm, another new thing this year is that my mom actually read through my blog, which must have come as a surprise to her, because she never really thought that her daughter has any talent, (I don’t think that opinion changed much), but, having known me and the irritating demeanour I seem to radiate, she was well caught off guard seeing this side of me. She did not say much about it though, which either means she thought it is not worthy of an opinion, which would be devastating, or she was left speechless, which is quite heart-warming. But then, knowing her, I am quite sure some corner of her heart must have heaved a sigh of relief that I have not cut myself off from this world and that I still am sane to express myself ;). (She believes I have grown very quiet, as if that is possible!!!)
Anyway, looking forward to a tomorrow, with a new sense of purpose and hoping that this year shall give me a sense of fulfilment and satisfaction in life, in the true sense of the words and wishing myself a very Happy New Year …
Wishing one and all a very Happy New Year and hoping that the sun shall shine the brightest in all your lives and the lives of your loved ones…
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