The ability to think opposing ideas, hold them in the brain and then go about performing the day-to-day activities would lead to satisfying results. Opposing ideas are such difficult thought processes, since the moment there are two things in mind, the brain refuses to respond and throws an exception – “AmbiguousCommandException”, saying that there are two tracks pulling in different directions and that it cannot choose. Brain is hardwired to perform in a certain way, right? It has inputs from X channels and inputs from Y channels and it processes them and comes to a cumulative set of options that are further analyzed and a certain output is thrown out of its complex structure! Which means, a cumulative set of options will have to be generated. But, what if, the cumulative set of options are all opposing to each other? Like, one signal says, love and the other says, hate. One says, light and other says, dark. To carry these simultaneously, weigh the pros and cons of loving and hating, light and dark, can one arrive at a conclusion?
Gosh! I keep doing this time and again and I personally feel, one day I would snap and that my IQ would drop down to that of a fern!
Sep 29, 2010
Sep 24, 2010
I'm with you
DISCLAIMER: This is a fictional story. All the characters are fictional. The incident itself is a creation. Any resemblance to people or to the situations in the real world, is purely coincidental.
She looked forlorn, as she gazed out of her bedroom window, on to the street below. The skies are blue, the sun is bright, the breeze is cool, the kids are playing on the road. All in all, the day demands that it be enjoyed, yet, she looked forlorn. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, as though the reflection might help her over the sudden weight she felt. She forced herself to cheer up and on an impulse decided to go shopping. She got ready with a trouser and a top, took her wallet and the bus pass and breezed through the road towards the bus stop. She always did this little dance, when she thinks her body requires a little cheer, hoping that the extra jolt drives the weight off her mind and body. She stood in the bus stop, impatient for the bus, looking at her watch.
“Ahh, go away!!”, she murmured to herself and looked at the empty road. Her impatience soared high at the sight of the bus round the corner. She watched its slow approach, with the tense muscles on her face. The frown on her forehead, the creases around her eyes and the set of her mouth add a distinguishable aura to her. A warning to the people to stay away from her. The bus stopped in front of her and she boarded it, showing the driver the bus pass as she took her seat in the second row on her right. The bus was visibly empty, just a handful of passengers. The bus began its lethargic drawl and she glanced around at the fellow passengers.
A girl, talking on her cell phone, with her hand wrapped around a gift wrapped box. She looked at the box which had a blue shiny paper and a red flower on top. The girl played with the flower absently, as she continued to talk on the phone with a smile on her face. She felt irritated at that smile and turned towards a lone passenger on the back of the bus who looked asleep. She watched that passenger for a couple of minutes before turning to another couple who were sitting behind her. The girl was lying on the shoulder of a guy. She had her eyes closed and a look of contentment on her face. Her left hand was in his right, and their fingers were entwined. The guy laid his cheek on her head and was looking out of the window. She looked at their hands and at the guy. The guy looked content too. She kept staring at those hands, not thinking about the embarrassment if she got caught staring at them. The bus took a turn and the sun was on her side of the bus. She was so engrossed in those entwined hands, that she did not care about the sun in her eyes. The guy, with his left hand, took out a handkerchief and swished it in the air, the movement which she observed from the corner of her eye. He placed that handkerchief on the girls head, to ward off the sun from her face and kissed her on the top of her head, a fond, lingering kiss. Suddenly the guy looked at her and gave a startled look. She looked him in the eye and for a moment just looked into them, before she turned away. She did not know what hurt more – the sun in her eyes or the entwined hands or the guy’s soft brush of his lips on that girl or the evident love in his eyes or the content of the girl. She just could not understand. She had to get down. She looked around to see if there was anything she recognized in that place. She knew the area and she thought she could walk the remaining two blocks to reach the mall. She buzzed the bus for a stop. The driver gave a backward glance before moving along. There was no stop and she knew it, yet she buzzed again. “No stop”, said the driver. She buzzed again, her eyes pleading. The driver looked back at the passenger causing this mess. What he understood is unknown, but he pulled over a pit stop and opened the door. She looked back at the girl and the guy, both their eyes were closed. She looked at their hands, they were still entwined. She got down, tormenting herself for looking back. She walked fast along the foot path, not observing her surroundings.
She breezed past the road and turned left on the corner and walked at a brisk pace. She suddenly began to run and ran until she was out of breath and then she stopped, just as suddenly as she started her running. An abrupt halt, as though another step further was unimaginable. She bent forward, taking deep breaths, steadying herself. Then she looked around, noticing people looking at her, before moving along. She looked around and noticed that she was way past the mall and she almost ran a complete circle towards her house. She took deep breath, annoyed at herself. She opened her eyes and looked around and looked at her watch. Her vision blurred and she said again, “Go away!”, and closed her eyes again. She took several deep breaths and decided to walk back home. She recollected the guy and the girl again. She forced herself to a steady walk, while her legs ached to break into a run. Her mind issued an order and the legs were forced to obey and they were not happy. Her heart insisted that they run, but they were helpless. Mind, the ultimate controller gave a direct order, to walk. They cannot disobey a direct order! So, they walked. The inner war with those commands, made her gait awkward. She sagged a little, while moving forward and the twenty minutes in which she should have reached her place, took an hour for her. She climbed the stairs slowly, as though each step was painful and finally reached her door. She opened the door and closed it behind her and leaned on it. Took few breaths to steady herself and walked into the living room and collapsed on her couch. She closed her eyes, closing her right hand over the watch. The tears slid down her eyes, a slow drop, one after the other. She lay down for sometime, before she stirred.
“I’m with you”, a voice said. She snuggled closer, towards the sound of that voice, as she sighed and her lips formed a smile. She woke up at the embrace she felt. It was dark. She could not make out anything. She felt around and was surprised to find the embrace hard and unmovable. It took a moment before she realized she was on the floor. She got up and switched on the light and looked around the room. She was sure she heard the voice and felt the whispered breath. She was sure that her hair moved a little at the slight breath that whispered those words. She touched her hair, at that memory. She looked around the room and took a step towards the bedroom. She walked in, and switched on the light. Looked at the empty bed and looked at the watch. She sighed and walked across the room and opened the drapes on the windows. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. She was a mess. She removed her watch and turned it around. It was engraved with “I’m with you!”. She sighed and put it on the vanity shelf.
She went into the bathroom and splashed her face with water. She patted her face dry and changed into shorts and came out of the bedroom switching off the light behind her. She felt somewhat lighter. The thought of lingering breath made her breathe easy. She sat on the couch and thought of the entwined hands. She held out a hand and was not surprised to find them embraced. She looked at the table in front of her and kept looking at the photo, that stared back at her smiling. She gave a smile and murmured, “I’m with you”!
*************************
She looked forlorn, as she gazed out of her bedroom window, on to the street below. The skies are blue, the sun is bright, the breeze is cool, the kids are playing on the road. All in all, the day demands that it be enjoyed, yet, she looked forlorn. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, as though the reflection might help her over the sudden weight she felt. She forced herself to cheer up and on an impulse decided to go shopping. She got ready with a trouser and a top, took her wallet and the bus pass and breezed through the road towards the bus stop. She always did this little dance, when she thinks her body requires a little cheer, hoping that the extra jolt drives the weight off her mind and body. She stood in the bus stop, impatient for the bus, looking at her watch.
“Ahh, go away!!”, she murmured to herself and looked at the empty road. Her impatience soared high at the sight of the bus round the corner. She watched its slow approach, with the tense muscles on her face. The frown on her forehead, the creases around her eyes and the set of her mouth add a distinguishable aura to her. A warning to the people to stay away from her. The bus stopped in front of her and she boarded it, showing the driver the bus pass as she took her seat in the second row on her right. The bus was visibly empty, just a handful of passengers. The bus began its lethargic drawl and she glanced around at the fellow passengers.
A girl, talking on her cell phone, with her hand wrapped around a gift wrapped box. She looked at the box which had a blue shiny paper and a red flower on top. The girl played with the flower absently, as she continued to talk on the phone with a smile on her face. She felt irritated at that smile and turned towards a lone passenger on the back of the bus who looked asleep. She watched that passenger for a couple of minutes before turning to another couple who were sitting behind her. The girl was lying on the shoulder of a guy. She had her eyes closed and a look of contentment on her face. Her left hand was in his right, and their fingers were entwined. The guy laid his cheek on her head and was looking out of the window. She looked at their hands and at the guy. The guy looked content too. She kept staring at those hands, not thinking about the embarrassment if she got caught staring at them. The bus took a turn and the sun was on her side of the bus. She was so engrossed in those entwined hands, that she did not care about the sun in her eyes. The guy, with his left hand, took out a handkerchief and swished it in the air, the movement which she observed from the corner of her eye. He placed that handkerchief on the girls head, to ward off the sun from her face and kissed her on the top of her head, a fond, lingering kiss. Suddenly the guy looked at her and gave a startled look. She looked him in the eye and for a moment just looked into them, before she turned away. She did not know what hurt more – the sun in her eyes or the entwined hands or the guy’s soft brush of his lips on that girl or the evident love in his eyes or the content of the girl. She just could not understand. She had to get down. She looked around to see if there was anything she recognized in that place. She knew the area and she thought she could walk the remaining two blocks to reach the mall. She buzzed the bus for a stop. The driver gave a backward glance before moving along. There was no stop and she knew it, yet she buzzed again. “No stop”, said the driver. She buzzed again, her eyes pleading. The driver looked back at the passenger causing this mess. What he understood is unknown, but he pulled over a pit stop and opened the door. She looked back at the girl and the guy, both their eyes were closed. She looked at their hands, they were still entwined. She got down, tormenting herself for looking back. She walked fast along the foot path, not observing her surroundings.
She breezed past the road and turned left on the corner and walked at a brisk pace. She suddenly began to run and ran until she was out of breath and then she stopped, just as suddenly as she started her running. An abrupt halt, as though another step further was unimaginable. She bent forward, taking deep breaths, steadying herself. Then she looked around, noticing people looking at her, before moving along. She looked around and noticed that she was way past the mall and she almost ran a complete circle towards her house. She took deep breath, annoyed at herself. She opened her eyes and looked around and looked at her watch. Her vision blurred and she said again, “Go away!”, and closed her eyes again. She took several deep breaths and decided to walk back home. She recollected the guy and the girl again. She forced herself to a steady walk, while her legs ached to break into a run. Her mind issued an order and the legs were forced to obey and they were not happy. Her heart insisted that they run, but they were helpless. Mind, the ultimate controller gave a direct order, to walk. They cannot disobey a direct order! So, they walked. The inner war with those commands, made her gait awkward. She sagged a little, while moving forward and the twenty minutes in which she should have reached her place, took an hour for her. She climbed the stairs slowly, as though each step was painful and finally reached her door. She opened the door and closed it behind her and leaned on it. Took few breaths to steady herself and walked into the living room and collapsed on her couch. She closed her eyes, closing her right hand over the watch. The tears slid down her eyes, a slow drop, one after the other. She lay down for sometime, before she stirred.
“I’m with you”, a voice said. She snuggled closer, towards the sound of that voice, as she sighed and her lips formed a smile. She woke up at the embrace she felt. It was dark. She could not make out anything. She felt around and was surprised to find the embrace hard and unmovable. It took a moment before she realized she was on the floor. She got up and switched on the light and looked around the room. She was sure she heard the voice and felt the whispered breath. She was sure that her hair moved a little at the slight breath that whispered those words. She touched her hair, at that memory. She looked around the room and took a step towards the bedroom. She walked in, and switched on the light. Looked at the empty bed and looked at the watch. She sighed and walked across the room and opened the drapes on the windows. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. She was a mess. She removed her watch and turned it around. It was engraved with “I’m with you!”. She sighed and put it on the vanity shelf.
She went into the bathroom and splashed her face with water. She patted her face dry and changed into shorts and came out of the bedroom switching off the light behind her. She felt somewhat lighter. The thought of lingering breath made her breathe easy. She sat on the couch and thought of the entwined hands. She held out a hand and was not surprised to find them embraced. She looked at the table in front of her and kept looking at the photo, that stared back at her smiling. She gave a smile and murmured, “I’m with you”!
Sep 8, 2010
Five years and still going strong...
8-9-10 – the number my husband is too fond of! And today, it is 08-09-10. Barring his love for this series, there is another event that occurred today – my fifth year in my professional life and I am still holding my fort, happy with what I am doing and where I am standing. Still hungry for more and still yearning for more – so, that definitely is a happy place. Here’s a note, wishing all my colleagues “Heartiest Congratulations!” on this significant day.
Hope that the forward journey is more challenging and satisfying…
Hope that the forward journey is more challenging and satisfying…
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