Love Ache

Here is the thing. I am obsessed. With what? Perhaps I have to call it ‘love-ache’. There should be such a term, obviously and there should be a branch in the Medical Sciences to educate about this. There should be students queuing up to take this course. There should be hospitals that sponsor research aid for developing medications based on the stages of this love-ache. Yup, there are stages.
Stage 1 : When an eye meets eye and there is this tingle in the belly.
Stage 2: When the hand meets hand and the slow burn begins in the places until then unknown to human anatomy.
Stage 3: When all seems great and the world looks pretty. Dude, you are on the verge of a precipice so steep, you have no idea IF you will ever land on your bum. Seriously! And for the record, the only way you will land is on your bum and that would be so hard that your breath shall take a short hiatus and you will be left choking and there is nothing you can do to stop it.
Stage 4: When tears start and questions form and the lousy feeling of the difference between night and day is not obvious(duh!), it has turned terminal. Nothing can save you, but yourself. That is when you are hanging onto the precipice peak. Be careful to take any help you get and feel grateful that someone is willing to lend you a hand and pull you up!
Stage 5: When nothing comes to mind and everything seems perfect, but there is no spark for life, dude, you are a goner.
Stage 6: Embracing the afterlife.
Stage 3.5: In between Stage 3 and Stage 4, there is an intermittent stage 3.5 or the love-coma. The love-coma is a dream like state where you are sedated with the happy dreams of prosperity, happiness, promises of more to come in future and essentially one step away from the dreaded after-life. There should be a genetic study done to check if it is possible that the offspring could develop this bug. Since it is not dependent on age, the vaccines should be given as soon and as often as possible to ensure that the probability of love-ache is minimal. Remember, there are no guarantees in science.

There should also be software companies lining to tie-up with universities to do a research and study the genetic engineering behind this ache and produce a software that can assist the doctor and the patient alike to understand the progress. There can be several intermittent stages, ofcourse, that are not always possible for humans to understand or fathom. Every out of bound scenario should have a special case. Care should be taken to understand the symptoms correctly.
- Is the person smiling unnecessarily?
- Is the person laughing intermittently, when no joke is cracked?
- Is the person gazing at the sky with a lost expression mixed with self-satisfaction?
- How many times does the person check his/her mobile?
- Does he/she have a smile when they check the mobile?
- Are you repeating yourself a thousand times before the person responds to you?
- Is the person crying for no apparent reason?
- Is the person locking himself/herself in a room?
- Does the person refuse to be part of the normal world, for the normal world does not exist for him?
- Does the person have a self-branded philosophy that makes little sense? (Yup, it is self-written)
- Is the person reaching out in every conversation?

Ofcourse, this is a developing branch and the list can go on after a thorough research and analysis. The analysts should study the market to understand the boundaries, symptoms and formulate the requirements correctly. And then, an engineer will develop a tool and incorporate it with “scalability” to answer any unforeseen requirements. That tool shall generate a report for the consultant lovelogist (yeah yeah, should find a better name) to form a diagnosis. Also a series of psychometric tests should be conducted to check how the person’s mind is responding to this love-ache and the results should be analyzed by an “expert” consultant, if there is one available, to give a prognosis. Finally, a medication should be suggested for a short term.

Advertisers should start making marketing campaigns about how the love-ache could be cured and what advanced techniques are offered by their treatment facilities over their competitors, misleading the average common-man into believing that this love-ache can be cured at any stage. There should be pharmaceutical companies that promise instant relief for this love ache with their advanced medical formulae. There should be milk powders designed for all alike that will enhance the resistance power of the human biological system to this love ache. Ofcourse, they shall be available in all flavors to appeal to all public.

Oh, like all medical discoveries and advancements, there shall be traumatic consequences of this work-in-progress. The media going frenzy, creating panic in people about the new “ache”, providing all the information required to corrupt the sanctity of a person’s mind. Then there is this online media, the twitterverse going crazy about this new ache, giving information on different places in the world, where the bug is developed and advanced, retweeting statistics about the number of terminal cases of loveache and how different organizations are volunteering their free service to help treat this love ache. How medications from all parts of world find a way into these people’s lives, thanks to the generous contribution of the celebrities and their followers. And facebook has a discussion page dedicated to fight and argue over various medications prescribed. And Google along with a link to the wiki on loveache, offers sponsored results, which laboriously offer mindboggling deals on the cheaper alternatives, only, they don’t work. There would be miraculous stories about how self-belief, determination and yoga has successfully helped a person overcome this ache and survive through the most trying of times. There would be autobiographies by the survivors and movies directed in their names. There would then come a celebrity jumping up and down the Oprah show that he/she has survived the danger and all is well in the world again.

And then, there would be fanatical movements that protest these drugs, saying they are destroying what little of good is left in the world and that if God wanted them to suffer, they had to endure that suffering and go in peace. There would be modern torture in the less civilized nations, applied to people who try to get a cure and there would be oppressed nations that say, men can take the cure and women cannot. There would be women rights association that shall fight to spread awareness of this brutality and the saga goes on.

All the while, people will fall in love, try to take a pill, forget the ache and move on, only to fall into the same pit again. And more stringent medicines will evolve and there would be opposing forces to balance out this evolvement and the saga goes on. SIGH!!!

Hmm… have I lost my mind? Or is it really possible? Any comments?