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You are at the risk of entering my world as I see it. Any resemblance to people or situations to the real world is coincidental. The names and characters are fictional and the fiction posts are a mere fantasy of my whim. This is a make-believe world of my complex mind and while I try not to be offensive, if the content is too strong, please do not continue reading the post.

Mar 5, 2008

Is it better to have loved and lost than never be in love?

Love, the very word is jittery to few and ecstasy to few. And what is it that makes it what it is? The initial paradise, the middle monotony and the closing abyss, is this it? The sweet nothings, the little romanticisms, the courteous understandings, the meaningless rows, the silly arguments, the despair of distance, the pain, the well being, the sickness, the sorrow, the happiness and the gloom, do these comprise the emotion? Anyone in love would vow for the intense extreme emotions one experiences. So, now, is it better to not love and not experience the pain? Or, is it better to love and experience the pain and grow richer through the experience?

Being in love is undoubtedly the most wonderful feeling, but the pain of walking out? Is it worth it? Well, considering that the heaven seems to be a small place when you are in love, the pain of being lonely, makes hell a paradise. But still, we see love all round us. The emotional turmoil, the bursts of depression, the incessant tears and the roller coaster rides… This sums up a rejection or a walk out. Then what? Depends on how you want to deal with the pain. If you are positive and want to move ahead, the wealth of experience it brings is substantial. The shared laughs, the simple gestures, should these be thrown out just because it did not work out? The very presence which was strength while in love turns to be a weakness when one out grows it, why? Hands clasped together and walking the endless miles with talks of life and being together, all the while bringing in confidence to each other, love traverses down the journey building memories filled with happiness that world can't penetrate. Should these positives be thrown out, when one walks out of it?

Whether one chooses to laugh on the shared happiness at a later point in time is purely a matter of choice and conscience and depends on how one chooses to end a relation. Why does one want to end it anyway, when the heaven seems to be right next step? Why does one feel the sense of despair when one experiences a dead silence? Is it because we are too used to the person that we tend to cling on, when we know that things are not working out? Why does even the most confident and smartest of the lot fail to cope with a failure of a relation? Why does love make you feel weak and overly emotional? The most sane and practical person turns to be an emotional wreck, while in love, why? The whys won’t end, despite that, love is a universal language, accepted, across the boundaries, as the highest emotion that brings happiness.

To love or to fall in love or to choose never to fall in love, is a matter of perspectives one holds. A universal emotion, that unequivocally produces joy while in it, does also produce a never ending saga of grief, while trying to walk out of it. But the very pain is worth the heaven while being in it. Because love brings a sense of lightness and an over whelming sense of bliss.

Choosing not to be in love, is choosing not to involve in the intricacies and the complex emotional roller coasters associated with it, choosing to be empty hearted, allowing one to be unbiased in thinking and adding an equilibrium to life. Love is the highest preoccupation one can experience and by choosing neither to love nor to ever fall in love, one saves the chord of melancholy that hovers in love. To love, one needs to open up their heart and allow someone to walk into it with the understanding that it can be messed up, inside out. To love, you open up a series of defenses you built around yourself, trusting the person not to misuse them. Choosing not to, allows a sense of freedom. But alas, choosing not to, also makes you lose an experience worthy of life :) !

4 comments:

Purnima said...

Hmm.. interesting blog!! Is there an option as such "not to fall in love".. I wonder!! You don't sit and tell yourself "lemme fall in love", so I'm still thinking if there is an option available :-)

"Walking out" is the toughest part of any relation, leave alone "love". There is no end to love as such, may be the sources and resources do change along time. But you'd keep receiving it (and having to give it) and that wouldn't be a explicit choice. Life teaches you everything.. don't worry!!

I don't know how to answer the question (ur blog title). Assume a gal is head over heals over a guy, loves him to the core. She knows that this isn't reciprocated by him and doesn't really look to have it from him. She loves him unconditionally, and so his reluctance wouldn't matter.
Now is she in love and lost him or she didn't prefer to love?? Wanna answer that?

Mahita said...

I will have to say that, love is conditional, atleast between a guy and a gal, as in tune with our modern terminology...

but then, love that exists between friends is unconditional and forever, more than the so called partners we choose to spend our lives with...

that actually, leaves scope for a lot of discussion... :).

to answer ur question, i will have to say that, if the gal does not care about his reluctance, I would say that, she is an epitome of love and as long as that fire in her heart keeps burning, she is still in love. But, then, fire, any fire, does it last forever? :)

Purnima said...

Yes, it does leave a lot of scope for discussion!! If the person you love, doesn't allow "you" in it, then there is no point in such a relation, be it friends or be it spouse!!

I'm still contemplating how different is a friend from a fiance, when the choice is ours. Let's see..

Su.. said...

'Love' is a kind of feeling which many have fallen into but none has rightly understood the importance it holds. For few its a committment to another person.. For few its a feeling for another person.. For few its just a word which tells that the other person is mine..
Love in the right terms is not known to me either but this dumb fren of mine has written something which i think i can justify to some extent :p...
For time being search the possible results n let me the know the meaning of love ...

Franklin P. Jones once said "Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile."

Now that tells why a person should fall in love..Probably to make your life worthwhile..TO live for yourself once in your lifetime..

After stepping on earth what does a person actually do?
Few try to reach the summit. Few try to give happiness..
Dint u ever feel like being happy? What makes a person happy? Some find happiness in making others happy. .But,will that be alive forever? Some feel like living a life with a person.. whats the guarantee that he/she will love u forever? Its all about now..This moment is tough to let go off.. Personal happiness is there but then this ride of love.. An understandable ooops.. not at all understandable feeling but then it holds a lot of meaning ..A lot of emotions pass through.. Have u ever fallen in love?? Try falling in love n look @ the things round u..Everything seems out of the world..U find more happiness than u ever think u cud have had..

Victor Hugo had to add something to that "What a grand thing, to be loved!
What a grander thing still, to love!"..
n that justifies what the blog is all about :-)..

This is a single life that we have been gifted with.. There may be different kinds of love..fatal attraction can be termed as love by few ppl.. But love in its pure sense is something that the person lives n walks with.. N without it life seems just life..
"We all fall in love once..The rest is life"..

Love exists in different forms.. Love between friends..Love between couples.. The love between couples may or may not degrade after getting married cuz of the involvement of their families and many more troops or probably the differences tat may erupt slowly n steadily.. But then the love between friends is unconditional n it remains n it holds the same importance forever..

I hope i have rightly confused everyone round this corner and i do deserve a kick...Dun shout @ me though :-).. Cuz I somehow can feel the tenderness, the care, the emotions tat a person goes thru when he/she is in LOVE!!