I am listening to the rhythm of the matrimony (holy matrimony). In the first place, why is it holy? Is it because, our culture believes that the match is made in heaven and hence it is called holy? I always wondered if marriages are made in heaven, why do they end unhappily or sustain unhappily. OK, marriage is nothing but the commitment two people promise each other, that they would stick together through thick and thin and if possible through to the death bed. I hope I am right. But then, can all the couples work out a relation?
Our culture only speaks about getting the couple together, but what should happen incase they are unhappy being together, is not spoken out loud. And perhaps it is because there tends to be a belief that there exists only one person for each person, the thought that there might be a possibility of unhappiness in that relation did not occur to anyone to document or preach. We grow up looking at the couples who survive with unhappiness because they are tied to each other and if the person cannot take it any more, we hear about suicides. Why is it so difficult to let go of a person? We cling to a person as though he/she is the only hope left. When there is no trust in each other, why cling on? When the relation gives only unhappiness, why should we bother taking a step further, together? I think, the habitual sustaining around the person kind of makes the concept of moving away difficult, the change being the most difficult to digest.
SIGH… marriage seems to be a concept that is tricky and tiring to me. I cannot help but say that it makes little sense to me. Though it is nice to have a companion to share yourself, if the companion is the cause of pity in your life, should such companion exist in life? In our society, there is no individual life, everyone’s life is everyone’s and perhaps that is the reason there is no peace for a person who wishes to be alone. It is so difficult to accept the concept of individualism, since the indifference is treated as a brutality! Wonder what sort of relation it is, if it sticks as an obligation to that someone to whom you committed or because of the fear of the societal crows! Marriage as an obligation is a treason that should never be committed! And a relation that starts with an ounce of doubt should not take a step further into that commitment.
Our culture only speaks about getting the couple together, but what should happen incase they are unhappy being together, is not spoken out loud. And perhaps it is because there tends to be a belief that there exists only one person for each person, the thought that there might be a possibility of unhappiness in that relation did not occur to anyone to document or preach. We grow up looking at the couples who survive with unhappiness because they are tied to each other and if the person cannot take it any more, we hear about suicides. Why is it so difficult to let go of a person? We cling to a person as though he/she is the only hope left. When there is no trust in each other, why cling on? When the relation gives only unhappiness, why should we bother taking a step further, together? I think, the habitual sustaining around the person kind of makes the concept of moving away difficult, the change being the most difficult to digest.
SIGH… marriage seems to be a concept that is tricky and tiring to me. I cannot help but say that it makes little sense to me. Though it is nice to have a companion to share yourself, if the companion is the cause of pity in your life, should such companion exist in life? In our society, there is no individual life, everyone’s life is everyone’s and perhaps that is the reason there is no peace for a person who wishes to be alone. It is so difficult to accept the concept of individualism, since the indifference is treated as a brutality! Wonder what sort of relation it is, if it sticks as an obligation to that someone to whom you committed or because of the fear of the societal crows! Marriage as an obligation is a treason that should never be committed! And a relation that starts with an ounce of doubt should not take a step further into that commitment.
Comments
:), it is not difficult to stay united, provided there is a bond that holds the couple together. But, I think, with the egos that run through man and woman these days, the realistic possbility of love, if it exists in any form, seems to be more of a show off than something that comes from deep within, else, why would 70% or rather 80% of love end up as failure? To say the L word has become a joke and few even try to be different saying that they do not believe in love, but in the concept of marriage, a new style of proposing, except that, without love there cannot be a marriage and a person who is afraid to love, is afraid to make a commitment and being afraid, he or she can hardly succeed! and neither will a relation that sustains in fear succeeds... With the independence of people, I think, the emotional aspects of human lives have become monotonous. I somehow, started believing that there exists no sincere emotion, but little should I care about it :D... new times, new culture, varied mindsets...
What I am trying to say is... A relation gets its importance only if both the persons understand what they are getting into and even after being together they respect each others space...
Nothing can be guaranteed in this fast moving world...Patience is the key word I presume :)...
lol, i said to stay united WITHOUT OBLIGATIONS for the entire life. The word ego is bad to hear and its against love, coz ego is satisfying self and love is sacrificing self for the other with no denying that self respect should exist between each of them. I did not understand in which context you said 70% to 80% of love end up as failure, how do you term failure of love? Two people held up together as Love and afraid of commitment? The person who doesnt believe in concept of love,but in marriage is like just staying together as a room-mates helping out each other, it might be success according to them, no serious relation no worries. I feel the concept of love/marriage is too personal to be generalized, each relation is original and different to every other relation. In the world there might be innumerable couples but still every relation is unique in its own terms, no comparisons ever. Independence of people well I am still not clear about it, independence means each one having their own emotional aspects, how can that be monotonous? are you trying to say the emotions they try to exhibit are artificial to impress up on and this artificiality is monotonous!!!!!!!!!!If you believe that there exists no sincere emotion, there will not and if you believe there exists then it will because this world has everything in it - good, bad and evil and its up to your circumstances and consciousness as to what you take and start believing it.
Marriage, is nothing but an association of two souls. If you are afraid of society, any body outside the two - and living for the sake of others....you are not justifying the relationship. Commitment is something between two people and not the two with somebody else. As long as you are having the trust factor and space to accommodate(read as 'love') the other person in your life forever, for all his/her mistakes, for all the virtues - You know you are in a happy Marriage.
Holiness is attributed to this marriage in Hinduism probably, to mark the start of a happiness in life for these two souls. On a practical note - thats where the whole life starts/ends.
Quiet an interminable argument!!
Good to see various views on evolutionary changes to define love and marriage.
May be we should make some amendments to definitions of marraige like we do for our constitution isn't it ;) ?
Lol just kidding!!
Doesn't mean to condemn any views in this post, just thought of popping in!!
Nice post!!!