DISCLAIMER: My personal opinion in my personal space.
I watched this movie a few times and every time I am impressed. Not a single statement in the movie is wrong and not a single dialogue unnecessary. The movie touches everyone and can be related to anyone. But what I loved about the movie was the ending. Not everyone has a family like Siddharth and not every one is as persuasive as Siddharth too. This is NOT a review, just some jumble of thoughts that are incessant and need to be jotted down.
Loved the movie for the mixture of reality and wisdom. Loved the way the guy at the end stands up to speak his point. Loved the way he trusted his love to speak and loved the way he just let the dialogues flow, without a break or consideration of his family's emotions, because time has come to choose or break. The first part of the movie was a breeze, the second part also very realistic. Getting torn apart between family and his own self, the guy finding it extremely difficult to convince his family about his choice, with the girl's maturity making life all too difficult for him, the anguish was beautifully portrayed, with him shouting on her, (at least he was communicating!) and she trying to soothe him with her words, unsuccessfully. The tension of the thought of having to let go of her and the tension of the verdict that was soon to befall, the despair and the self struggle was beautifully captured. And finally, the girl standing up for herself, though could understand the anguish of him, let go of him, for she could not respect the person he is becoming, in the process and deciding to call it quits and the aftermath saga – unable to forget the love that existed - was thankfully small, yet splendid. Thankfully, the guy took the reins of his love in his hands and spoke for her. Not many parents attempt to understand the love of their son or daughter, in that he is lucky to have a family like his.
But what would have happened had his family not agreed? Would he have gone ahead like his friends? Would the girl have accepted him? Though he was fighting for her and has shown tremendous character and trust in her and his love, he still forgot to nurture it, defying the purpose of taking her to the house, the promise of providing a good family, when he himself was unable to be good to her! Would he, if he had moved out, be able to sustain that love for her? Would they have stood by each other and respected each other? Would they have been happy? He is a responsible guy, brought up with love, affection and care and very closely tied to the family, would he have survived the loss of his family, had his family disowned him and would he have sustained the pressure of not having the financial stability without the support of his family? Well, unfortunately I could not get an answer to any of these questions!
Falling in love is one thing and sustaining it is another. To be able to choose between love and family is like making a choice between the two eyes and the chances of driving a conclusion is arguably zero. To choose family, is letting love down and choosing love, is insulting the family pride. And the lover, to choose between these two, goes through a phase of despair and emotional trauma. And the love usually disintegrates.
Why do many love stories fail? For they were unable to sustain their love through the testing times, each expecting the other to understand, not understanding that love has to be nurtured and with every passing day, it only appears to be a distant dream, if it is not. It is easy to say, 'I love you' and not many can understand the meaning of it and having said that, not many can understand that it has to be told whenever possible, for there is a thrill in listening to it. But majority of the time, it comes out as a flippant statement only to rip through the heart of a lover. To use phrases like, 'I miss you'. I call them phrases because not many times do people mean it when they say it. Sometimes, it is told as a necessity, sometimes as a desperate hope of clinging onto something that is slipping and sometimes as a responsibility to the lover. But, meaning what was said, many fail to.
What is it that makes it so difficult for a person to open up and speak what is in their heart? What they feel? Is it so difficult to portray emotions? Is it so difficult to call up and say, "hey, how are you? I am missing you.. you alright? Had your food? Are you taking care of yourself?" or is it so difficult to say, " Hey Darling, just thought about you. What's up??" or, with the internet being so convenient a form of communication, is it that difficult to drop a mail, saying, "Hey baby, how you doing? Coming online tonight?"… do these take so much out of a human being? But why is that, after the initial span of "calf love" that all these emotions are left unsaid? How can one forget the very foundation of their relation?
I do not say that one needs to be calling every hour to find out if the other was alright or no, I guess no relation is complete without the comfort of silence, but a person in a relation is a better judge to decide if silence has a role to play in this relation yet or no. When can silence be comfortable? Only when the two people are secure with each other, only when they trust each other and only when they believe in each other, that nothing can affect or separate them, not another person's entry into life or distance or time or the insecurities that time slips in the relation. Many tend to forget that walking with another person's heart in their's is not an easy job, for only love has the purpose of destroying a heart and being in love is giving another the right to destroy it.
I think commitment also plays a huge role in the society that is commitment prone, where marriage is the only form of public display of the love. Sadly commitment is decided by the means of a few vows for which except the person who is chanting the verses (probably), none understand! Complex system, our culture and society and to have to satisfy the hunger of the lustful societal eyes, is a forlorn task.
May be, the egos of the current generation also play a huge role. The gap of a generation behind and the NOW generation is a bit too huge, like B.C. and A.D. and the mentalities of people, though changing there are enough numbers in the world who can be counted on trying to establish the philosophy long since forgotten! With the girl stepping out of the house, the threads that bind her to the house have disappeared and the hunger of standing as an equal counterpart to their counter egos is pushing them to be career obsessed and there by a slippage in the only glue that holds the family. Since guys are brought up with a mentality of earning bread for the family, they see the 'taking care' of house as an additional responsibility of a girl, rather than understanding their share of contribution to it. And being macho enough to ALLOW the girl to work, expect them to take care of the house and his life, else sit in the house, for they DO NOT see the necessity of another bread winner.
Oops! Did I cross a line? In the flow of thoughts? May be this rambling might seem too feminist, but I am not one. May be there are guys out there, who are knights in the shining armour and who know the right way of treating their girl. May be there are guys out there who know the right words to say at the right time and charm their girl into a dream land of their chosen destination. May be!!! But believe me when I say that, if a guy walks one step down, a girl walks ten steps down, even a career obsessed girl and ask your hearts, if that is not true. And believe me again, when I say that a charmer with words and a person with ears go a long way with a girl than any person who is lavish, confident, arrogant, successful or any synonyms guys term as "MAN" enough!
Phew!! That was some rumbling or should I say grumbling???
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