Random Thoughts

The definite face, with an indefinite thought… Low murmurs and caressed hair, Long since bygone… Smile of the heart, kiss of the soul, Sparkles of the past… Today, I think of the silence, Not of comfort or of peace, With a definite face and Indefinite thought… Tomorrow is a new day, Smiles will return, Sparkles will return too, For a friend can never be a foe, And a fiend can never be a friend, Fiend and foe can touch my life, But a smile and a friend touch my soul… With a definite face and Indefinite thought, I smile at a reflection, Of thought and mind… In the mirror – called life! With a zeal for a new hope, I soar high and above, To touch the happiness, Future holds … With a definite trust And indefinite hope…

Trust is an unseen hope… Can I trust? Why should I? After all that was done and said, I was wrong and you were right, or so you say! Why should I? Breach is not just of a word, For that very word is what held us, Qualms of mind echo the qualms of heart, Qualms and qualms, to fetter and deter, So, why should I?

It hurts to see so many people in despair and not be able to do anything about it. Mumbai has had its share of unpleasantness, but to see this catastrophy… is devastating. I deeply mourn the lives that have been lost in the counter attack and the lives of innocent people and pray for their peace. Whoever they are and whatever their cause, they hold the wrath of the entire nation and they will pay dearly for their acts. I, as an Indian, believe in my countrymen and the law that governs this nation. There might be loop holes in the system that can be manipulated, there can be corrupt officials, but when it comes to national security, I trust MY country men to stand hand in hand and face the enemy, how many ever lives are lost, to secure the nation for our future generation. I extend my heart and hand to all the fellow Indians and pray that the peace prevails. This is not the time to fight the government or write about the inefficiency of the law, etc, but rather to stand and pledge our s...

DISCLAIMER: My personal opinion in my personal space. I watched this movie a few times and every time I am impressed. Not a single statement in the movie is wrong and not a single dialogue unnecessary. The movie touches everyone and can be related to anyone. But what I loved about the movie was the ending. Not everyone has a family like Siddharth and not every one is as persuasive as Siddharth too. This is NOT a review, just some jumble of thoughts that are incessant and need to be jotted down. Loved the movie for the mixture of reality and wisdom. Loved the way the guy at the end stands up to speak his point. Loved the way he trusted his love to speak and loved the way he just let the dialogues flow, without a break or consideration of his family's emotions, because time has come to choose or break. The first part of the movie was a breeze, the second part also very realistic. Getting torn apart between family and his own self, the guy finding it extremely difficult to co...

“A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.” For a dear friend who taught me that life is not to frown but to smile, that a warm word can go a long way and that a gesture is worth a thousand words… For a friend who was kind to read me the verses of my life, when I seem to have forgotten them… For a friend who trusted me when my trust was broken, For a friend who loved me when I lost a reason to live, For a friend who brought me the most tender smiles that took my breath away, For that friend, I can only say, Thank you, for being a part of my life and bringing in a charm in a phase where I couldn’t trust my shadow, Thank you for living through my nightmares and feeling them, yet holding me and saying it’s gonna be alright, Thank you for the belief, kindness and love that you bestowed upon me, u...

I have been tagged by Usha Ma'm on Feminism. I cannot completely draw out an opinion of whether it makes any difference to the society, for I still fight for my rightful stand as a professional, day in and day out, to fully comprehend the beauty of being a woman, for in the rat race of winning and proving that I am as good as my counter part if not better, I have lost the charm of being a "female". :), I guess, the post conveys as much, with my half baked ideas (:D). Feminism is rather a loaded topic for me to write, though I was many a time playfully jabbed as a feminist (:O), for I fundamentally believe in living life the way I want to and nothing can deter that fact, though sometimes, which is the usual case with every well laid plan that there should be an alternative, I tend to compromise on my “principles” or so I call them, succumbing to circumstances only to be mocked by self in some definite future about the integrity of my thoughts. Well, that was some opening s...

Hey… this is my first award in the blog-o-sphere. I should thank Prabhu for having thought that I deserve this. And I cannot say how very much Iappreciate this... and .... Its rather turning out to be an acceptance speech of some sort, ain't it?? :)... So, I will just stop and say, thank you. :) Rules: 1. Put the logo on the blog. 2. Add a link to the person who presented it to you. 3. Pass this one, and link other bloggers that you'd like to share it with. And having accepted it and made my blog a little colourful, I would like to pass this on to: Puri – for her telugu blog Su – the prevaricator he is… Soumya – some memories are hard to cling onto – so she puts them in fabulous words…

Soaring the heights I am a giant, Treading with poise, Through the spheres of life… Tumbling down the mountains I am an inferno, Treading with tepidity, Through the spheres of life… Whirling past the trees I am a storm, Treading with haste, Through the spheres of life… Fighting through the rocks, I am a stream, Treading with persistence, Through the spheres of life…

What is it with tomorrows, that somehow bring in some joy and hope that everything would be better? And suddenly all today’s seem somehow devoid of charm? Is it just me or does it happen to all? Hmmm, with every today a foreboding and every tomorrow buoyant, I wish life is filled with only tomorrow’s, then I don’t have to feel daunted at the thought of today. Well, well, me and my thinking!!! Pool and poker I play, to pass the time of the day. Today I pass time, tomorrow I pass life, Both never to return, for every passing minute is a minute of life lost, lost, never to come back… Is this a harbinger of my journey to the realms unknown???

Thank you Usha for tagging me :). Tagging being new to me, took sometime to understand what needs to be done… The Tag Two questions from the past, present and future. Answer them and then tag your friends from the blog-o-sphere. Leave a comment on their blog letting them know they have been tagged and you are all set. Yesterday Your oldest memories Amazing how things of past cling on to you as memories that last forever. And those memories drive us to live a life amidst every chaos that erupts round us. There are a bunch of memories in my casket, each extremely warm and beautiful. To pick one is likely to be a tricky task. C’mon, I need some help here, which one to pick??? Will pick a memory when I was about seven years old. The kid in me fancied climbing hills, mountains, trees, buildings. But for a kid, do mountains or hills or peaks make sense? I think not, or I remember, trees and buildings are something that I thought should be mounted with extreme caution of a monkey. And I was v...

I am a morning’s ray, fresh and welcoming… For you, I am the radiance you wish to close your eyes on… I am a night’s romance, sensuous and aesthetic, For you, I am bondage, loathsome and lustful… I am the warmth, cosy and comfortable For you, I am the heat, excruciating and overpowering… I am a winter breeze, fulfilling and dreamy… For you, I am the chill that freezes you cold… I am the rain, fresh and welcoming, For you, I am the cloud, gloomy and depressing… I am a rose, sweet and loving, For you I am a thorn, piercing your heart… I am a leaf, green and sensitive, For you, I am a dried leaf… to be trampled and broken to pieces – never to be mended again… I am the wave, roaring and soaring, For you, I am an ocean – uncontrolled and huge…. I am hope, life and vigour, For you, I am the despair, you wish to forget!

Long time since I saw you… Missed you or… did I miss you? Think a call can change a thing? Forget the past and walk anew? Where were you, when I needed you? (I was beside you, you could not see!!!) Where were YOU when I needed you? (I am inside you, you could not feel!!!) This is it! I cannot take it anymore! Then, let us part our ways, why walk together? And thus began a journey… into oblivion!

When we think that nothing worse can happen, we need to think again, did I really mean that? Between the stab in the back and a pain in the heart, which one can you really tolerate? Walking down the street, the familiar walkways looked unfamiliar. The chaos of the streets somehow seemed quiet and the songs in the ipod were uncharacteristically loud and the mind for once was not wandering down the lane ahead of my heart and my mind for once has understood that silence is of paramount importance; else I might sue it for non-cooperation. With the cold reaching down the spine and body craving for some warmth, I forced myself to walk down the lane, breathing in the cold air and focusing on the task ahead – keeping one foot before another towards my house. Even that terrifies me, it is not a home, it is a house, that I care a damn for, yet, somehow offers solace. Do I really have a destination? Do I really crave for any destination? Is there some thing I yearn for? Can anyone live like this?...

Bright and sunny, this day promises a lot. But, sitting on the chair, with restless little mind, I think and that being a job in itself, wonder why I am not paid for it! Why doesn't human body have reward systems, for being able to convert mundane chores to tasks that are interesting? Why can't human mind be intelligent enough to reward the hard work and not so hard work? May be that is not so good an idea, for if conscience has a way of getting to me, I will not survive a day! Right! As is, it keeps nagging and I being a master at shutting it down, I shut it out. But, not before guilt creeps in. Hmmm, what would happen if we can tune our mind to a computer? Well, with little to keep me occupied, what do you expect from me than these doldrums? Mind is a computer that human race has not yet mastered, with gadgets that are getting released week after week (or is it day after day?), humans find little use for it. May be, we should have a mechanism of switching it off and on! What ...

Retired from test cricket.. I wrote a blog on him earlier last year when he retired from ODI and hoped he would leave a mark on test cricket. Anil Kumble, the master plotter, the jumbo, the patriot, the team man – has called it quits, after 18 years of unwavering determination and loyalty to the team and the game. What can I say? Stats – over a thousand international test wickets, a special ten wicket haul – only second in the history of cricket, a clinical assassin – everything speaks for itself, the greatness of his personality. Surely, the champion and the legend of the game will be missed and the loss is difficult to articulate, but fittingly, he hung up his cap at Ferohshah kotla, where he has been the fiercest of all the places he played, almost always changed the match’s direction. I can only say that I will miss him badly, but then, time moves on and he has not been his best over the past 10 test matches or so and though I would miss him, I can only say that the decision is ...

Mmm, with the earlier blog post being a journal for the trip, I thought penning down my thoughts about the trip would probably be a good idea. The thought of Lake District started after seeing a friend’s snaps of the place and it was a place that was closer to my interests when it comes to a location. I love places with scenic beauty and love long drives. Travelling the miles and trying to put them to words is a task that should be left to the professionals of Nat Geo ;), may be, but I for one cannot help but make an amateur attempt. Gazing at the myriad stars, I fell back on a child hood memory of me gazing at the stars out of my window. Watching the moon and the stars somehow was a soothing experience and one picture of absolute serenity and after moving into a new apartment, that has become a thing of past and I craved for those experiences again. That journey gave me that experience and I did catch a shut eye of thirty odd minutes, in my own dream land, with the stars offering me s...

Lake district, is in the North West part of England and is nothing short of a paradise. It was a fabulous experience and only makes one want more of it. Two days were just not sufficient. We stayed at a place called “The Carriage House” in Windermere and we did the house warming as it was recently opened for the tourists. At about 5 hour driving distance from Luton, the place is a scenic beauty. I was completely glued to the sides, looking at the scenic beauty of the place and many a time I uttered "Oh my!", and I have lost all the words to express the brilliance of the place. What started of as an impulse plan on Friday was executed on the very day, thanks to the active participation of everyone. When the Kingston gang reached my place at around eight thirty in the evening, we were set and raring to go. We started on our long journey to Lake District at around ten in the night, after our dinner, with a flask of hot coffee for the ride and few essentials for the trip of two d...

Mmm, with a trying day coming to an end and the weather being darn cold and an insufficient coat on my shoulders, I started walking down the road to my house along with another friend. And suddenly he exclaimed its snowing, I was thinking it was rain and suddenly, my black coat has a few specks of snow on it asserting the fact that it was snowing. Infact, as I am writing this and gazing out of the window, I can still see the snow fall and I am completely amazed and thrilled. After I reached home, the first thing I did is switch on the net and send across messages to all my friends saying I got wet in the snow. It was not half bad as it is now, but still, snow is snow. I made a few friends in a different place jealous about this experience too . Hmm, backyard, fence, tiny tiny leaves, plants, trees, rooftops, footpath, road – all are covered with the snow and it does not look like it is about to abate anytime sooner and it looks like it is not in a hurry either. What is the big deal a...

… Starting with thoughts that are running in my head as a stream gushing through mountains… in attempting the enormity of defining what this tiny mind feels, thoughts might have gone in frenzy, yet I am sure they will give a meaning that is whole. Something about an emotion, though spoken a thousand times, seems to have been left unspoken. That emotion is love. It is a force that drives one out of this world. A passion, rare of its kind that it holds a certainty in life like nothing else can. I cannot see you, I cannot talk to you, I cannot touch you, Yet, I can see you, I can talk with you, I can touch you, with as much emotion as I can gather in your presence. That is love. The thought that I walk down the path that you once walked, The thought that I can breathe the very air that you breathe, though miles apart, The thought that I can look at this world, through your eyes and see its entirety as you spoke of it, Can anyone take that away from me? The right to feel what I feel? The r...

This is the gear rod and we have five gears to move forward and one gear for reverse. This is the steering wheel and this is clutch, brake, accelerator in that order. Now, first, you need to turn on the engine (not the car, but the engine, no wonder the lesson is hard to follow!), check the gear if it is in neutral, floor the clutch and hold the brake and turn the key clockwise. That is it! Now, shift the gear to the first, slowly release the clutch, slowly!!!! Ok, not a problem, start the engine again, neutral, shift, hold on, hold on.. ok… not a problem, lets do it one more time, and let me just tell you what to do first. You need to release the clutch slowly, when you can see the vehicle move a little, floor the accelerator, got it? A nod! Perfect. Lets do it. I took a deep breath and went into the routine again, clock wise, clutch, shift gear, accelerator. Damn it, move!!!!! Release slowly, damn it! Slow, S, L, O, W – slow, got it??? SLOW? OK.. No need to freak out, give me a break...

Have been thinking about blogging for quite sometime. Having loads to write, but words falter. Want to write a series of experiences in life, but somehow words fail to form sentences and I end up using a phrase or two. Last week end, went for a walk down the Picadilly Circus towards the Buckingham palace. This is autumn and trees are shedding their leaves. The paths are full with dead leaves and I was playing with them. I dragged my feet on the road across these leaves and thoroughly enjoyed getting my shoes dirty :D, but it was worth going back in the time and doing things that once were a part of my daily activity. Hitting a stone across the road while walking back home from school, jumping high in the air and trying to catch the lowest branch that hung in the air at a teasing distance, running along the walk with the school bag on shoulders and dragging the feet in the mud for some unknown reason and getting an earful after reaching home. Those were some days! A walk in the St James...

Pool… Hmpf! A cue and six pockets and a load of pass time. Was trying out my hand in pool yesterday and thank God, my parents did not think I need to become a pool player. I am ridiculously qualified for it. I knew I was not cut out for sports or for that matter any activities that involve a crowd, for me 2 is a crowd, I am glad I was proven right yet again. But then, like to chill out once in a while, books though offer me a solace like no friend can, a game can take your concentration else where. But, I saw a person play pool, the likes of which I have long since forgotten and in fact he gave me a new dimension to look at in the game. Wonder why he was playing an amateur game instead of trying out his hand else where! Anyways, not my place to throw around words. But somehow the game is captivating and I only want to play it more… Suddenly I realise how very far I came from enjoying life for what it is and how serious I have become in my life or rather, how I have let go of a lot of t...

Honestly, I am too shocked for words! Wait, let me get my senses back. Dada is retiring after this Australian series. Man, I will miss him big time. Have been a little out of touch with cricket these days and when I came to know about it, I had to read the content from all the news papers I could gather and every single website that covers this news, to believe it. The royal Bengal tiger, true to his virtue, has been a man of solidarity, influence and strength. A man, who people hate and love at the same time, a typical Bengali. Sourav Ganguly, an awe inspiring persona, charismatic and regal, he will be a figure who shall be remembered in the Indian cricket as legendary. With his first tour that began as a threat to his career, he launched himself a career that is scintillating. Comebacks have been a part and parcel of his career, each remarkable than the one before. With a century in his debut test match in Lords, he sent the waves of promise and lived to it as his statistics prove. T...

The title itself is a simple, bold statement. Though it promises nothing, except simplicity, it left an impression on me. Lovely film and a must watch for one and all. I do not affirm the movie, but the taking was terrific and strong too. That a common man can make a difference to this society, that a common man is the very bolt of this society and that the common man’s revolt is not uncommon and that very common man can make a world a better place to live. That is the story. Thrilling and action packed; a slap on the face of people who make the society a quagmire. Left me speechless and waiting to gather the after-thoughts on the movie. Should one take action into one’s own hands? Sometimes, process can be devastating and sometimes a little too late in doing justice to the actions. But that very process saves many a headache in future. This movie is about an angry citizen, who wants to give an answer to the anger held in him. His answer to the outrageous acts of the people who make th...

Love, the highest form of compassion one can achieve. Have been reading blogs lately, and my friend has inspired me in many ways to put into words those feelings that I have, but failed to ever pen down. For one, once I start on, it goes on to speak about ideals and such, which are not really what I want to write. Ever been in a state where you feel the bliss of the first drop of rain on sand? And ever been in a state where you feel the heat of the first rain drop on a desert? Love has the power of making you feel both. You are in ecstasy in one moment and you are in a pit the other. But, the beauty of it all is that you don't realize how very much you appreciate the sadness and grief until you fall in love. And the definitions of pain, hurt, and despair all seem to be suddenly different and somehow philosophical. Like Ayn Rand said, I cannot share you with the people in this world. But in order to appreciate you fully, I should not care a damn about the very people. That is the be...

Gloomy day! It is cloudy and all I can think of is a blanket and a bed. Wonder how people work in a temperature like this, when one wants to go into a dream land, where miracles happen. I love reading folklore and fairy tales. I love imagining myself to be a character in that and love going into a dreamland, experiencing the stories. The natures, the climate, the houses, the food, the walks, the people, all are somehow, filled with innocence that seems to be void these days. Did you ever imagine yourself to be a Cinderella or a Snow White? Did you ever imagine a prince charming out there somewhere, the knight in the shining armour, branded for you? Did you ever imagine yourself to be a goblet, alien and disgusting to turn into a beautiful prince charming? Did you ever imagine communicating with squirrels, rabbits, deer or flowers? Wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to do that? Imagination is a powerful weapon. Imagining yourself to be a winner, makes you focus your energies on bec...

Now shadows grow longer, and there's so much more yet to be told But we're not getting any younger, so let the part tell the whole Now the players all wear colours, the circus is in town And I no longer can go down there, down to that sacred ground He was more than just a batsman, he's something like a tide More than just one man, he was half the bloody side Fathers took their sons 'cos fortune used to hide In the palm of his hands; in the palm of his hands That’s Bradman’s song. Sir Don Bradman…. Was reading anecdotes about him and was reading a few memories from all corners of the world. Few gave me goose bumps and few made me feel human. Wonder why we can never produce a sport star like that. With records to prove his brilliance and no words necessary to describe them. We have many greats, be it cricket or be it other sports, but none have the consistency of this wonderful man and it makes me really sad, that a country the size of India and having a population ...

Sometimes, it happens that one’s best is just not enough. That is when you are hit with a wave of nausea and panic. All of a sudden, you want life to be organized and disciplined. You want to make the most of the opportunity because you suddenly realize that you are just drifting and that you need to be focused. Sometimes, you hopelessly fall into a pit of depression and self-pity or it could be hatred for self and that many cannot understand what is wrong and why all of a sudden one has this leaden weight in their heart and conscience. A lot of times, we give in to our whims, only to realise that it was not a best choice. As humans, we err and we make mistakes. Learning from them is important. But then, there is this piece of conscience that keeps popping up. One can forgive anyone and everyone, but not one self. True, one cannot forgive oneself. But then, the question is that, is the blame worth it or no? Life, by all means can never be easy, especially for people who regard them...

Starry night, with absolute stillness around. Quite peace and unbearable silence. Why? Suddenly, the thought struck, you are alone… Suddenly, the entire meaning of the moments stillness changes to something magnanimous… the undefined and suspended chunk of time, becomes a treasure, soon diminishing, with a rapid speed, now that you realise, it is all yours… Thoughts rush through to you and all of a sudden, you want someone to share these… contemplate on a call and then, a lethargic sigh and you are on your own… So, what do you do? Look around the room, to see if there is anything that can be used for destroying this peace… idiot box… wow, there it is!!! ON! OK, now that it is on, what is it? Why is time not passing? Oh, uninterested in it. A tiny voice pops in to say, hello, I am here, talk to me… I respect my inner voice and painfully allow it to torture me with its thoughts… Future… no, I have no interest to think about the copious and tumultuous opportunities… Life… NO… I am content...

Was that a sport? Man O Man, Rafael Nadal won the Wimbledon , only because he was persistent. Federer, the great, the unconquered master of the grass court, would not have felt intimidated at the loss. Surely, reaching the heights he has reached, he would have understood that the sport is all about the victory for the game and the thrill of the journey towards the destiny and if that is so, he would have thoroughly enjoyed the blistering four and half hour display of enthralling tennis. I, for one, prayed, cursed, laughed and finally just gave up and enjoyed the match in its complete glory. Every time the match was close to completion, it came bang on. Just when Federer seemed to have realized what was happening, did the match get exciting and painfully entertaining. Nadal, if lost, would never have dared to touch his racquet again, especially after winning the first two sets.. But knowing Federer, the great man he is, one cannot relax and that is exactly what happened. Nadal, kept...

Lovely! Absolutely lovely! Watched TV after a very long time and it was worth a watch. French Open finals. Missed the first set and half and I cribbed big time for that. But, sat through and watched the half and third set, all the while willing Nadal to win the match. And, boy, did he win! Roger Federer, the unconquered king of tennis vs Rafael Nadal, the undisputed clay court champion. It was a match with uneven bets. Federer has his set of armoury and Nadal his and it is always fascinating, when these two contested against each other. Today, Federer, master of his destiny, seemed a mere spectator to the splendour and the grandeur of Nadal’s display and it was worth a watch. Since it is one Roger Federer at the other end, it is not a great match to watch, but painfully glee, if one can understand the feeling. And since Nadal has won with his splendid display of clay court mastery, let me just celebrate it by paying a tribute to the hero. What started of as a match between equals, went...

I don’t have tears to hold back I knew it a while ago, This is not to be the dream I wanted… Here I stand... in the aftermath, hunting a meaning… Hell, this is not what I want But, this is it… the end… Nothing more to do… I say no more… I smile and I smile… A smile for nothing A smile at nothing…

I wish, I were your eyes, I would understand you much better… I wish, I were your nose, I would breathe-in your favorite scents… I wish, I were your heart, I could be your life… I wish, I were your feet, I would tag along with you, times immortal I wish, I were your tear, I could die on your lips... I wish, I were your smile... I could stretch to your eyes and chase away your grief… I wish, I were your voice, I could forever murmur in your heart… murmurs of love I wish, I were your whisper, I would forever whisper… whispers of hope I wish, I were your memory, I could stay forever in your heart... I wish, I were your deepest desire, I would engulf you in an eternal bond… I wish, I were your triumph, I would glow as your pride… I wish, I were your failure, I would make you strong… I wish, I were your hope, I would never let you down… I wish, I were your fire, I would burn your weakness… Alas, I am not any ...